Sweet to Bitter Sweet

The first night I met you, my darling Alexia, I knew you were the one for me despite my first rather stereotypical impression. It was a blind date arranged by mutual friends and although I trusted them with my life, as I'm sure did you, I was dubious. This said I did agree, reluctantly, to go along with it but I was filled with negativity, having had a string of unsuccessful dates in recent months and so I never expected things to pan out quite the way they did.
    You pulled up in your slightly banged up Nissan Micra, dressed in a crumpled, derogative top, with torn jeans and very muddy trainers. I was honestly cringing as I tried to keep my obsessive compulsive tendencies at bay but then you suggested we go to a fish and chip takeaway and despite not usually seeing myself as shallow I must admit my first thought was, 'oh god please not untidy and someone who can't even afford to go halves on a decent meal' but it just goes to show that I should not have judged by appearance alone.
    You ordered for me which irritated me but I went along with it especially since, miraculously, you had ordered the same as I would have. You handed me my haddock and chips and you led the way as we negotiated some steep steps down onto the beach and then you handed your meal to me as well whilst you unpacked your grimy looking rucksack. Yes, I know, I was still being critical. You unpacked a blanket, two glasses and a bottle of champagne and I hoped I did not have a look of shock on my face as you laid the blanket on the sand and offered me a seat. “Madam,” you said shyly. Once we were sat we tucked into our food and fell into easy conversation. Between mouthfuls of food I took a moment to take a better look at you. The setting sun was reflecting off your tanned face and your shoulder length blonde hair and blue eyes were both glistening in the midst of the reds and purples of the evening sky. Despite my earlier misgivings I actually liked what I saw and as we got to know each other a little better I realised I had made a mistake in my initial impression of you especially after you confess that you had not had time to change after an unexpected field trip with a patient at the nursing home you worked at. I smiled at my own cynicism and you asked what I was smiling at. Embarrassed, thinking that I had been caught out I made some silly excuse but you did not believe me so, with no other choice and potentially risking my lift home I told you the truth but rather than getting angry at me you leant in and you kissed me. It was like a sparkler on bonfire night, yet so soft and gentle and when we pulled apart we were both smiling. Standing up you held out your hand to me which I took to hoick myself off the ground. “Come on,” you said, “Let's go for a walk. There is an old ruin further down the beach which is beautiful as the sun sets,” and without waiting for my reply you grabbed my hand and skipped ahead so I had no choice but to follow.
    Our first date turned out to be perfect and that first show of honesty and trust became the foundation of our fifteen year marriage. It may not have always been an easy ride but it was never boring and I would not change any part of it. You are the only woman I have truly loved and I only wished it could have continued into old age but fate had other plans my darling. I will be gone when you read this and as much I hope that you never forget me and what we had together I also hope that you move on with your life and continue to achieve everything you have ever dreamed of. I love you and I love everything you stand for. You are an inspiration to me and all of those around you. I love you Alexia and I always will.

    *

Alexia choked on the last few words of Charlotte's letter and she let out a small sob. Pulling herself together she finished her eulogy by saying, “I found this letter this morning when I collected my dress from the dry cleaners and I knew I had to share this with every one of you. I could have easily written the same letter it is so true to each of us, although I would have had to put that she was dressed in high heels, posh cropped jeans and looking a little pretentious. You see I wasn't exactly blown away with her for the first five minutes either.” This got a laugh and Alexia stared out at the seventy or so faces that littered the church pews before she continued, “Not everyone agreed with our relationship much less our marriage but together we made a life and all of you have been a valued family member or friend all the way. If Charlotte is looking down on us now she would be honoured that so many of you came to say goodbye. Thank you.” With this Alexia stepped down from the altar and went back to her seat. Beside her Sophia took her hand, “Mummy would be so proud of you,” the little girl whispered. Alexia smiled through her tears and put an arm around her daughter. 

Better Than Revenge

Fiona was angry but although she wanted to get her revenge she wanted it to be good. The anger had been simmering away all week but rather than letting it boil over and doing the inevitable scorned spouse confrontation she set about thinking of a plan which would satisfy her desire for revenge long term. Fiona's husband it had recently transpired was not worth going to jail for and so although she would love to do some serious damage to his nether regions this was not an option and quite honestly it was a little predictable, as was burning all of his belongings. She wanted the proverbial knife to stick like it was wedged in a block of cheese.
    Sitting down at her desk in her office in the attic with a mug of fresh hot coffee, she loaded up the computer so that she could do some work but before she did she browsed the internet and it took just thirty minutes to spend £3000 on Luke’s credit card. As she waited for the last order to be processed she sat back and let her mind slip back to the previous week when she had come home a day early from a rather successful business trip to find a trail of clothes snaking up the staircase like a vile infestation. She had stood at the bottom pathetically staring at a pair of lacy red knickers that could, quite frankly, be mistaken for a piece of dental floss. Stood frozen in place, her whole body numb as she tried to block out the obscene noises coming from the bedroom she usually shared with her husband.
    Eventually she moved swiftly up the stairs. Knowing what she would find she burst open the door and took a tiny bit of pleasure in seeing her husband and his floozy leap apart in the midst of their unfinished act of deception. Speechless they both stared at her as they tried to protect their modesty with the purple covers, giving her time to take a look at the blonde haired tramp lying in her bed with her husband. Fiona laughed cruelly at the look of horror on her face but promptly ignoring it she said, “You! Get your smutty red underwear off my stairs and get the hell out of my house.” She did have the sense to disappear but not before daring to throw Luke a fleeting glance.
    “You,” Fiona yelled at her husband, “can pack your crap and get out. I don’t care if it was a one off. I don’t care if it didn’t mean anything. Whatever excuse you have is not going to work on me. I have apparently put a lot of worthless effort into this marriage and I have no more to spare.” Rather shamefaced he got out of bed, quickly dressed in business attire; all with Fiona staring at him, hopefully making him feel very uncomfortable. He packed his black leather case, still not saying a word until he was finished and then he said, “I’m flying to Hong Kong tonight for the next two weeks but once I am back I’ll collect the rest of my stuff and my car. Fiona...” He stopped as she gave him a look which reiterated how little she cared and so he said “I’ll call a taxi and wait downstairs.”  He left, offering no further explanation or apology. Slamming the door behind him and brusquely brushing away tears which threatened to fall but she refused to give into them. Instead she stripped the bed of its sheets and threw them out of the window where they fell directly onto the compost heap. She would burn them later.
    Coming swiftly back to the present Fiona took an excited gulp of her coffee causing her to choke as some went down the wrong way. Laughing and coughing she tapped into her eBay account. Drumming her fingers against the mug as she waited for it to accept her password she thought about what she would write and soon she was drafting an advert.
    Buy Now – Collection only
    Mercedes E63 Class AMG 6.2 Diesel 2011 – Matt Black
    1 owner, FSH - 8 months tax + 2 years warranty
    Looking for very quick sale.
    Price: £1 - This is not a joke!
Finished, Fiona sat back, grinning at what she thought to be a genius plan. The car had been Luke’s gift to himself last year when he had received a generous inheritance from a distant relative. He had paid cash for the vehicle but ironically he had temporarily put it into her name to escape some hefty bills. Fiona had not understood it all at the time but it was certainly going in her favour now. Swivelling round in her chair she looked out of the window and eyed the sleek looking motor. It stood handsomely next to her slightly more modest silver Hyundai Coupé. Oh but not for long, she thought as she finally got down to some actual work.
    Emails kept flooding in during the next few days as people tried to figure out if the price was genuine but eventually someone took Fiona at her word and arranged to come and view the car. Rushing around half an hour before the scheduled meeting she made sure everything was ready to hand over if the potential buyer was happy. She had even washed the car, something she had previously prided herself on never doing, not that she had probably needed to have bothered since the car was going for such a small price. Giggling to herself she boiled the kettle to make coffee and waited.
    Alex Maxwell was actually a woman, despite Fiona being convinced that the emails she had been receiving were from a man. Alex barely left her time to open the door before she barged in, not waiting for an invite. Introducing herself whilst finding her own way to the kitchen she planted herself onto one of the breakfast bar stools and looked Fiona up and down who was just staring at her, open mouthed, not sure what to say. Eventually she said, “I'm Fiona.”
    Tutting loudly Alex said, “Yes, I gathered that. So you are selling your car for £1? May I ask why?” Running her fingers repeatedly through her hair Fiona felt like she was being interrogated by the Mafia so she just mumbled, “Fancy a change.”
    “And you think you'll get that change for a pound?” The intruder exclaimed. “Sit down dear,” she said more gently, which sounded odd considering the woman didn't appear to be much older than Fiona was. Despite being in her own home she felt like a stranger in someone else's as she meekly sat down on another of the stools.
    “Separated?” Alex enquired staring at the white line on Fiona's ring finger which until last week had housed her wedding ring for the last six years. She nodded, not really sure what else to say or do.
    “Thought as much when I read your advert.” Puzzled Fiona just listened as Alex continued. “Three years ago I put a similar advert in the local newspaper after I found my husband in bed with the next door neighbours hussy of a daughter. She was legal but barely,” Alex sighed as she remembered. “Anyway this act of revenge turned out to be a huge error in judgement as when my husband found out the whole divorce turned into a money and child war. Adultery it seems is a lesser crime than revenge and I lost everything. It didn't help that my ex husband is the most devious man I know, but if I had been less inclined for revenge and more inclined for long term satisfaction I would not have sold his car for... yes you guessed it... one pound and I might have some say in my children’s lives. His being rich was a real nail in my coffin.” 
    Fiona at this point was now stood making coffee. She offered Alex one who accepted as Fiona asked her why she was telling her all of this. Alex mulled this over for a moment as she decided how to answer before she said, “Honestly? I'm lonely and I figured if you were about to lose your husband then you might need a friend and as I could use one too I thought I would offer my services.” She stopped, nervously twiddling her thumbs, her leg also bouncing up and down as she realised how weird she might be sounding. “Basically, I don't want you to make the same mistake I did.” Fiona was incredibly moved by what this woman was doing for her.
    A week later, on a rare afternoon off work, Fiona was sat in her lounge with a glass of wine in her hand. Alex was on one side of her and a couple of other friends were on the other side. They were in genuine fits of laughter, enjoying good conversation but in the midst of all the chatter Fiona   could hear a gentle cough from the doorway and turned to see Luke standing there beckoning her to him. She looked surprised to see him stood there not having heard him let himself in. Initially she blanked him as she took another mouthful of wine but then she quietly excused herself and ushered him into the kitchen. “You're back then?” she started offhandedly.
    “Yes,” he answered. “Can we talk before I just pack up my stuff and go?” he asked.
    Alex burst in just then and said excitedly, “Come on they're about to put the DVD on from Sammy's hen party.”
“You went to a hen party,” Luke asked seemingly surprised.
“Yeah, hen party on Saturday, the races on Sunday and numerous nights out since then too,” she said indifferently. “Your stuff is all where you left it and your car keys are hanging up by the back door. If you could leave your house keys in the bowl in the hall when you leave that would be great.” With that she turned on her heel and went back to her friends in the lounge. Alex had been right. It was so much more satisfying for him to see how she had moved on without him when he appeared to look like he had some regrets. In the week she had known Alex she had become a good friend and it just went to show that something good can come out of something unfortunate. Smiling broadly she filled up her wine glass and squeezed herself into the small gap on the sofa.