Opening the crisp cover of the new copy of her favourite novel Jane Eyre, Katrina sank into the less than comfortable seat which public transport offered the common traveller, devouring the first two chapters before the train had even left King's Cross due to a signal failure a mile up the track. ‘Hopefully not a sign of things to come,’ she thought, thinking enviously of her normal commute to work which was a short five minute walk from her flat. Once the train started the four and half hour trek to Edinburgh, Katrina dragged her eyes away from the page she was reading and allowed herself to take in the scenes flowing past as the train picked up speed.
London was looking glum as it stared back at her and was being made all the more depressing due to thick grey clouds hanging overhead, which lacked any optimism for the day ahead. “Well,' she thought, ‘I guess the weather is aware of my mood'. She lifted the book from its resting place on her knee and read a few more lines but she did not concentrate on the content. Instead she discreetly took a look around. There were just two other people, a couple of business men in formal attire, in the spacious carriage with her despite the 7am train being a peak time option. She didn’t mind though, she could do without the bustle of numerous travellers and she was sure it would pick up later. Both passengers looked as unenthusiastic as she did about the journey they had just embarked on as they rustled their morning papers in an attempt to look awake.
The carriage itself was clean enough, if not a little dusky in smell and she could not help but feel repulsed at the tiny piece of pink chewing gum which has been pressed into the seal of the window. She shuddered and looked away, swiftly reading another four chapters of her book before shoving it into her purple, suede bag. There would be plenty of time for reading. She thought of the miles ahead and then she thought of what lay in wait for her in Scotland.
Going home had been a major topic of conversation for some time but for one reason or another she had kept putting it off. Grandmother Lily had continually argued that it was her obsessive streak holding her back. Katrina was unable to put someone else in charge of her work as a book editor for a while so that she could take a well deserved break.
Now though her journey home was one of necessity and heartache rather than one of pleasure. When she arrived in Edinburgh later that day Grandmother Lily's housekeeper, Annie would meet her and together they would prepare for the funeral which would mark the end of an era for both of them.
If only she had let her friend, Angela, look after her flat a few weeks ago, when she had offered, and she had let Martin, her assistant, take on the promotions for Martha Donahue's latest book tour, she might have seen her grandmother in her final days. Days which could have been filled with a reminder of the love that Lily and Katrina held for each other. Fortunately, Lily had accepted Katrina for the workaholic she had become yet that did nothing to stop the guilt which now engulfed her.
Focusing on the sea of luscious green fields as they whizzed past with London now being far in the distance Katrina took a moment to relax. They were only at Peterborough so she closed her eyes and started to think of her childhood, where her grandmother had been her only source of family. As memories of grief and rebellion and later a lasting friendship merged she drifted into a light sleep, the pressure of the last few weeks getting the better of her as she finally succumbed to her tiredness.
She was forced into consciousness some time later as the train came to an abrupt stop. Noticing they were not at a station she groaned inwardly as she waited for someone to explain the situation as she righted her position to look less like she had been sleeping. She rubbed her neck, sore from the position she had found herself in when she awoke and tried to get more comfortable. The announcement she was waiting for came over the intercom then, “Unfortunately we are experiencing signal failure up ahead due to the theft of some cabling. We will get moving as soon as possible.” What was the world coming to when someone felt the need to steal some cabling? ‘Must be worth something I suppose for it to be worth the effort,’ Katrina thought. Dragging herself out of her chair she pulled her short black skirt into place as she decided to take a trip to the food carriage. Making sure her suitcase was safe she grabbed her bag and manoeuvred through the carriages, trying not to trip up on anything that was sticking out from underneath the seats. Further down the train there were a lot more passengers and a lot more noise. She grimaced as she negotiated bags, elbows and even a child’s fist as it splayed out into the aisle without warning as she passed him. She tried to hold her breath as she passed the toilet facilities but could not help but be disgusted at the smell that was emanating from within. Hurrying on she joined the end of a two man queue in a narrow, dark blue corridor in the carriage which housed the food and tried to decide what she would eat. The chances of finding anything healthy were slim although she thought she spied a banana from where she stood. As the first man walked away with some sort of greasy food she waited for the second man to obtain his coffee and then it was her turn. “Morning,” she said, trying to be friendly but the girl behind the counter brushed off her attempts and demanded to know her order. “A black coffee and a banana please,” Katrina said coldly in retaliation to her rudeness and slammed her money on the counter. Grabbing her items without saying ‘thank you’ or ‘goodbye’ she braced herself for the walk back to her seat but miraculously she managed to get there without spilling any of the hot coffee.
By this time the train had restarted its journey albeit slower than before and soon they had stopped at York station where it seemed a substantial amount of passengers were now boarding. This made the carriages hot and stuffy and despite most of the tiny windows now being open this had no affect. Katrina drank her coffee whilst balancing her book on her knee, trying desperately not to make eye contact with anyone. She was conscious that the seats were not quite large enough to accommodate her and the lady who had sat down next to her and she shuffled closer to the wall of the train, hoping that the journey would soon be at its end.
Going home had been a major topic of conversation for some time but for one reason or another she had kept putting it off. Grandmother Lily had continually argued that it was her obsessive streak holding her back. Katrina was unable to put someone else in charge of her work as a book editor for a while so that she could take a well deserved break.
Now though her journey home was one of necessity and heartache rather than one of pleasure. When she arrived in Edinburgh later that day Grandmother Lily's housekeeper, Annie would meet her and together they would prepare for the funeral which would mark the end of an era for both of them.
If only she had let her friend, Angela, look after her flat a few weeks ago, when she had offered, and she had let Martin, her assistant, take on the promotions for Martha Donahue's latest book tour, she might have seen her grandmother in her final days. Days which could have been filled with a reminder of the love that Lily and Katrina held for each other. Fortunately, Lily had accepted Katrina for the workaholic she had become yet that did nothing to stop the guilt which now engulfed her.
Focusing on the sea of luscious green fields as they whizzed past with London now being far in the distance Katrina took a moment to relax. They were only at Peterborough so she closed her eyes and started to think of her childhood, where her grandmother had been her only source of family. As memories of grief and rebellion and later a lasting friendship merged she drifted into a light sleep, the pressure of the last few weeks getting the better of her as she finally succumbed to her tiredness.
She was forced into consciousness some time later as the train came to an abrupt stop. Noticing they were not at a station she groaned inwardly as she waited for someone to explain the situation as she righted her position to look less like she had been sleeping. She rubbed her neck, sore from the position she had found herself in when she awoke and tried to get more comfortable. The announcement she was waiting for came over the intercom then, “Unfortunately we are experiencing signal failure up ahead due to the theft of some cabling. We will get moving as soon as possible.” What was the world coming to when someone felt the need to steal some cabling? ‘Must be worth something I suppose for it to be worth the effort,’ Katrina thought. Dragging herself out of her chair she pulled her short black skirt into place as she decided to take a trip to the food carriage. Making sure her suitcase was safe she grabbed her bag and manoeuvred through the carriages, trying not to trip up on anything that was sticking out from underneath the seats. Further down the train there were a lot more passengers and a lot more noise. She grimaced as she negotiated bags, elbows and even a child’s fist as it splayed out into the aisle without warning as she passed him. She tried to hold her breath as she passed the toilet facilities but could not help but be disgusted at the smell that was emanating from within. Hurrying on she joined the end of a two man queue in a narrow, dark blue corridor in the carriage which housed the food and tried to decide what she would eat. The chances of finding anything healthy were slim although she thought she spied a banana from where she stood. As the first man walked away with some sort of greasy food she waited for the second man to obtain his coffee and then it was her turn. “Morning,” she said, trying to be friendly but the girl behind the counter brushed off her attempts and demanded to know her order. “A black coffee and a banana please,” Katrina said coldly in retaliation to her rudeness and slammed her money on the counter. Grabbing her items without saying ‘thank you’ or ‘goodbye’ she braced herself for the walk back to her seat but miraculously she managed to get there without spilling any of the hot coffee.
By this time the train had restarted its journey albeit slower than before and soon they had stopped at York station where it seemed a substantial amount of passengers were now boarding. This made the carriages hot and stuffy and despite most of the tiny windows now being open this had no affect. Katrina drank her coffee whilst balancing her book on her knee, trying desperately not to make eye contact with anyone. She was conscious that the seats were not quite large enough to accommodate her and the lady who had sat down next to her and she shuffled closer to the wall of the train, hoping that the journey would soon be at its end.
Her mind once more moved towards her grandmother and couldn’t help wondering if she was as claustrophobic in her current resting place as she was feeling right now. If she closed her eyes tight enough and put her arms down by her side she almost felt like she was there with her. Shaking these thoughts away she glanced back down at her book, there not being anything else to do on such a long journey, but the words were blurred, as some tears escaped down her face at the though of her grandmother all alone. Brushing them away in frustration she sighed shutting her book with a slap but keeping hold of it not wanting to disturb her fellow passenger who appeared to have fallen asleep. As Katrina settled in for the remainder of the journey, the train now having left Newcastle station after a brief stop, Grandmother Lily once again swept into her mind almost as real as if she had swept into a room. The long flowing summer dresses Lily had worn when Katrina was growing up allowed her to do this and Katrina smiled now at the thought. If she could just get past the guilt of not being with her at the end she would be peaceful in the knowledge that Lily was in a better place. ‘Clichéd?’ she questioned herself. Maybe, but her grandmother had always believed her soul would live on when her body did not. This did nothing to stop her grief however and although she wanted this journey to end she was worried about the task ahead. Preparing a funeral was not her idea of fun although getting in touch with some of Lily’s friends would be enjoyable despite the circumstances. When Lily had been in a room with any number of her close friends it had always been a riot and even as Katrina thought about it she let out a small giggle as she remembered some of things they had gotten up to. Lily’s friends had been as much Katrina’s family as they had been Lily’s and she hoped that this would remain so now.
Going through her grandmother’s house and boxing it all up so she could sell the property was another job she was not looking forward to as she would have to cram it all into the week she had booked off work, but again perhaps she would enjoy looking at the things that Lily had built up throughout her life to make her the person she was. Katrina was sure she would find journals and letters and other keepsakes that would keep her grandmother alive in her mind. ‘You know what?’ she thought to herself as the train finally pulled up in Edinburgh station. ‘I can do this. I can say goodbye and still be the woman that I am. Grandmother Lily will remain alive in me.’ With that thought in mind she stood up with focus, grabbed her suitcase down from the overhead shelf minding not to knock anyone out with it and exited the train straight into the arms of Annie who had seen the train come in and had spotted the carriage Katrina had been sitting in. Annie welcomed her like a long lost daughter and Katrina kissed her cheek, linked arms with her and said, “Let’s do this.”
Going through her grandmother’s house and boxing it all up so she could sell the property was another job she was not looking forward to as she would have to cram it all into the week she had booked off work, but again perhaps she would enjoy looking at the things that Lily had built up throughout her life to make her the person she was. Katrina was sure she would find journals and letters and other keepsakes that would keep her grandmother alive in her mind. ‘You know what?’ she thought to herself as the train finally pulled up in Edinburgh station. ‘I can do this. I can say goodbye and still be the woman that I am. Grandmother Lily will remain alive in me.’ With that thought in mind she stood up with focus, grabbed her suitcase down from the overhead shelf minding not to knock anyone out with it and exited the train straight into the arms of Annie who had seen the train come in and had spotted the carriage Katrina had been sitting in. Annie welcomed her like a long lost daughter and Katrina kissed her cheek, linked arms with her and said, “Let’s do this.”
I enjoyed reading this very much.
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